Avoiding a Panic Attack -- My Quick Trip to Sanity!

Howdy!  Today's lesson is how I avoided having a full-blown anxiety/panic attack!

Where do I begin?!

First, I'll give the solution in a nutshell:  My initial plan was to "distract" my thoughts.  I enthusiastically began to describe our White Board.  It's white.  It has 6 magic markers.... Then as thoughts began to flood into my head, I wrote them on the board, and then I pretended to lovingly and excitedly "teach" my husband how to avoid having a panic attack, and I wrote down all of the feelings and thoughts that I had as I "taught" him.  (See the story in more detail near the end of this post.)

I have had panic attacks (or whatever people want to call them) since 2004.  They have always lasted for a minimum of 3 hours -- not 5 or 10 minutes, like for some people.  They happen either late at night or early in the morning.

In 2005, I got a new job, and was excited about starting my first day!  Well -- sure enough -- I had a panic attack that first day.  I didn't feel worried about my new job, but apparently, I had been more worried than I knew that I was.  I went home that day, and had another panic attack the next morning and couldn't get myself to go back to work, so I lost my job.

I went to a regular hospital.  They couldn't find anything wrong, and suggested I check with a psychiatrist.  I went to a "mental hospital" one morning just to talk to them about my issue, and they gave me some Cymbalta.  Ick!  That didn't work.  I went to a Church-related therapist, and he gave me Lorazepam, which seemed to work for a while.

In 2006 or 2007, I went to a psycologist for a month or two.  He gave me about 15 pages that he had typed up, of suggestions of what to do to not have anxiety.  He taught me and a group of other anxious folks how to BREATHE.  Concentrate on the breath.  Be aware, etc...  The breathing IS very helpful for me, and I later learned that breathing sends much needed oxygen to the brain, to help it function at its best.

At Kaiser, I bought a "Managing Stress Kit", which has a 110 page 8 x 11 book full of suggestions on how to keep calm in every circumstance in life.

I bought several books at Goodwill, and other places, to help me think positive thoughts and be optimistic.

But I'm really not a big reader.  So........... I don't read them very often.

This year, I've been dealing with pain in my back, and that hasn't helped my mental state!   : )

I went to the urgent care place one night, because I didn't have anything to take for my panic attacks, and they gave me some Alprazolam, which worked wonderfully!  It calmed me down and knocked me out, and I was able to sleep through the night.

I was told that it could become addictive and actually cause panic attacks.

I spoke with a doctor about maybe taking something all of the time to help me, and he gave me one type of medicine which didn't work for me, and then he gave me another kind of medicine which I haven't tried yet.

Recently, I decided that in order for me to ACCEPT my panic attacks, I didn't want to be taking anything, because I felt that it would mean that I wasn't accepting the panic attacks.

WELL............

Last night, when I began to have a panic attack, I decided to test out some of the recent things that I have learned about dealing with a panic attack.

First, I looked at my calendar, and it was just about one month exactly from the last time I had a panic attack.  I think the attacks might have something to do with my menstrual cycle, even though I no longer have a uterus.  I still have ovaries.

Anyway -- when the feelings started, I told my husband that I could feel a panic attack coming, and that I was shaking.  I asked him if he could listen to me talk to him for a while.  He has been with me through MANY panic attacks, and he's familiar with my symptoms.

To give just a little extra background -- recently, I went online and found two videos about how to deal with a panic attack without medication.  One suggested "demanding more" of the panic attack -- kind of like a "bring it on!" type of thing.  Another guy suggested a "distraction".  He said to describe something "ad nauseam" -- to describe every single, minute detail of an object.  That way, it re-directs and distracts your brain.

At first, I told my husband how I was feeling and what I was thinking.  I told him about the two videos I had watched.  The "demand more" idea wasn't something I totally understood or believed in, so I told him that I was going to describe something to him.

I looked around, and the first thing I thought of was to describe our big "White Board" on the wall.  I just started enthusiastically telling him about it.  "It's big and white, and we don't use it much.  It has 6 magic markers on it."  Then, I told Kyle that I was going to start writing my thoughts on the White Board.  I wrote as if I were teaching him about something.  "Distraction:  Describe something 'ad nauseam' -- in minute detail."

I began feeling the benefits of this exercise right away, and I wrote down my thoughts and feelings, and read them to him, "I'm teaching -- I know something!  I can help someone learn something.  It's like giving a tour.  I'm welcoming someone and showing them around.  I'm helping you know where things are so you don't feel lost."

I was excited as I wrote all of those things on the board!  I felt calm.

Then I wrote and thought, "I feel I'm in control of things.  I'm not being told what to do.  I'm not wondering what to do.  I'm not afraid of doing what I need to do.  I'm in charge of the situation.  I know what to do.  I'm doing something good.  I'm dealing with FACTS as I teach you.  Nobody's perfetc."   : )

My husband said, "The truth shall set you free!"  Then I wrote, "Focus on what you can do, and what you do well."  I read all of the sayings that I had previously written on the board on other days, "Accept yourself where you're at."  "Keep a sense of humor."  "It is what it is."  "Let come what may and love it!"  "The Holy Ghost is a comforter and tells us the truth of all things."

When I was done with all of that, I told my husband that I felt better!  The panic feelings were gone.

I told him that I was also exhausted by the effort it took to write and say all of that.

A friend told me today that due to the enthusiasm with which I spoke, it probably released Serotonin in my body, which calmed me.   : )

I was SO surprised that I had calmed down.  Typically, after my panic attacks start, they quickly explode into a horrible feeling that engulfs me with unwarranted GUILT and DOOM.  But over the last month, I have REALLY tried to be aware of what I am thinking.  If I realize that I am thinking negative thoughts, then I try to stop.  Just stop.

I had also worked on being prepared for the next big attack.  It's kind of like preparing for anything.  You decide beforehand what you will do in that kind of situation.  Then, when the situation arrives, you are ready, and you have a plan.

It has been EIGHT years since my first attack.  And last night was the very first night that I was able to SWING my bat and HIT the ball out of the ballpark, and WALK calmly home!

After I calmed down, my thoughts started to try to "rev" back up, and I started to feel a little anxious again, so I talked to my husband again, reading some of the things I had written on the board.  I didn't have as much energy as before, but I just tried to stay with the calm feeling and not let my mind wander.

I PRAYED that Heavenly Father would send angels to be with me.

I focused on counting, "One", Two", over and over again as I slowly breathed in as I said, "One", and breathed out as I said "Two", and I was able to quickly fall asleep.

I am SO thankful that I was able to avoid a full-blown attack.

It was wonderful.

My friend, who I talked to about last night's events, suggested I blog about it, since it might help other people who suffer with panic attacks or other awful things.  I thought that would be a great idea, so I did!    : )

I HOPE that the next time I have another panic attack, that I can do this same exercise again and have the same results.

I know that everyone's experience is different.  We all have different things that we deal with.

For some people, crocheting, coloring or doing word searches helps them.

Best wishes to you in your quest for calmness!!!!!!  Remember to pray, have faith and hope, and keep a sense of humor!!   : )

One of the quotes I put on one of my posts in 2008 was a quote by Woody Allen.  He said something like, "Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering, and it's all over MUCH too soon!"    : )