Right now, I'm just breathing slowly and deeply...........
This blog is just for me, to log the ol' "How I'm Currently Feeling!" stuff. : )
It is December 2nd.
I have had 2 other "less-than-pleasant" nights before this that I have not blogged about because blogging about it makes me think about it, which I don't really like to do. : )
However............
Right now, I'm going to blog about how I'm currently feeling and how I'm doing.
I need to continually remember to breathe slowly......... and deeply. That brings in oxygen to my brain to help my emotions stay in a happy place. : )
Smiling helps. : ) I'm smiling! : )
And Breathing.
Breathing slowly. It helps to type the words as I breathe in....... and out.... slowly and deeply.
I want to keep a sense of humor too. : )
Now what is the reason why I am up at 2:22 a.m. this morning?
I was having trouble breathing, so I got up because that got me thinking some, perhaps less-than-positive thoughts...
So I needed to go to the bathroom............
Breathe.............. F-o-c-u-s on the breath. In and out. In and out.
Yes, maybe later this morning I can get my dust rag and dust off my glass ball that I helped make, and yes, I think it will be good if I send a Thank you note to the guy who helped me make it....... and yes, after I dust it off, I can dust off my computer screen. : ) Those are things that I can do later. It's OK right now to do it later because right now, my sweetie is asleep in the room where I have the dust rags in a drawer.
When I'm typing, I also tend to want to type things exactly as it is. I want to explain things exactly so that people understand what I'm saying, because I like people to type things clearly so that I can understand what they're saying. That tends to get my heart rate going up a little bit.
So I am BREATHING. : ) And smiling. Yes, breathe and breath are spelled differently. I think that's good. Read and read (pronounced "red") should be spelled differently too! : )
I'm breathing.
In and out.
OK -- so -- I think I'm ready to continue explaining what happened this morning, just about half an hour ago now.
I got up, went to the bathroom, and then I gargled with salt water, because....
Yes, I am going to explain that in a second. Please, self, be patient with me. I'm getting there. : ) Smile. : )
Breathe.
I feel like my throat might becoming..... infected? Sore? Because my husband has had a cough and sore throat over this whole past week, so we've been only kissing on the cheek, as to avoid him passing his "germs" to me.
Then yesterday, he must have thought that he was not infectious any more, so he started kissing me on the ol' lips when we were out and about.
Breathe. : ) Smile.
Breathing does wonders. It is powerful. Remember that. : ) If you want to stay up until 4 a.m. or 5 a.m., that's fine. You'll be fine. Imagine that you're just talking with a good friend (or 5). : ) And you're having such a good time talking that you stay up, and then you'll be tired, and you'll go to sleep.
Yes -- later this morning is Church. Yes, you agreed to help in the nursery, and if you don't go, then someone else will have to go for you. That will just have to be fine. You were willing to do it. We'll see if you're able to in the morning.
I'm thinking of typing a message to the person who asked me to be in the nursery, to let her know I might not be able to do it, but I think that I'll wait and see how I'm feeling at 9 a.m. At 9 a.m. -- about 6 hours and 20 minutes from now -- I will do what I need to do, because I can't call anyone right now anyway.
I notice as I type, that I like to be exact -- which I mentioned earlier. When I'm not exact, or if I make a mistake in my communication, I notice that it..... SMILE! : ) .... it tends to increase my heart rate. : )
Barry Manilow said in an interview with Ellen D. that stress is dangerous. He had a stress-related incident, and had to go to the hospital and have heart paddles put on his chest to help his heart get back on track. So although he didn't elaborate on why not to get all worked-up about things.... which reminds me that I would like to continue to read my "Don't sweat the small stuff..... And it's all small stuff" book! I have several "good books" that I can read. I put that in quotations, because in Doctrine and Covenants section 88, it says (I think it's Jesus saying) to read out of the "best books". I have many good books to read that help me. If I wanted to learn how to work on a car, for example, I would read books on that. If I wanted to learn how to be a doctor, I would read books about it. Therefore, since I want to learn how to calm my mind..... I read about how to do that in my many good books. : )
As I was saying about Barry Manilow -- although he didn't elaborate on why not to get all worked up about life, or about HOW to not get all worked up about the things that happen, such as death, illness, -- and I am noticing how my heart rate just increased as I typed and thought about "illness"...... Smile....... Breathe......
I am doing OK -- I am smiling and breathing slowly and deeply. Keep typing. It's OK. You're OK. You're sitting here at your computer, and you're fine. You might be tired in a little bit. Good. Then maybe you'll be able to go back to sleep and awake refreshed later this morning! That's a happy thought, eh?! : ) (No, I'm not Canadian -- but my neighbor's Mom was as I was growing up, and she always said, "eh?".) : )
I'm a little calmer now..... It's now 2:51 a.m.
So..... let's see if I can finish my thought there about staying calm and not stressing! : ) Why do I want to remain calm and not stress about what I'm typing about? Because stress is dangerous. That's why. Remember that. And therefore, stay calm. It's OK. You're OK. Yes, your throat and lungs might be, I don't know -- they might be infected. Does that word cause you to panic? Yes, you have a dentist appointment on Friday, but if you are sick, then you can just cancel your appointment on Wednesday. Just wait until then. Are you feeling a little dizzy just thinking of the possible things that might happen? Well don't worry. Right now, it's Sunday, at 2:54 a.m. It's not Wednesday. It's not 9 a.m.. It's 2:54 a.m. Sunday morning. And you're breathing and smiling right now. And your throat isn't hurting. You're able to breathe. Relax your shoulders. Smile. Breathe. Type a little more slowly. : ) Relax.
Breathe. Breathing is powerful. Oxygen to the brain is important. Take the oxygen to your brain. Send oxygen to your brain to help you think more clearly, and to help your emotional, mental state. : )
Stress. Don't think about it. Think of the word, "Calmness". You want to be calm? Think of the word "calmness".
Let's move away from words that cause stress. Use the words, "Free". "Truth". Light". "Love". "Faith". What else do I have on my note that I have taped to the lamp post here beside my desk....... "Pray". : ) I will stop to do that right now!
......................I'll be right back.
I'm back. : )
My husband gave me a blessing during my last "episode". It was one day last week, at around 3 a.m. (I am correcting my typing so that I can understand what I wrote down the road too!) -- and right after the blessing, I was able to start breathing slowly and deeply and I got very tired, and I was able to lie down calmly, and just continue to breathe, and I was able to go to sleep. : ) It was wonderful.
As I went back just now to edit my typing, the one thought I had was that I can take my time as I make corrections. There is nobody waiting for me to finish this. There is no deadline. There is no need to rush through this. I can type more slowly, which.... is..... what.... I am doing now.
60 (or 65) words per minute. That was the goal (or desired number) that most places wanted their typists, receptionists or secretaries to be able to type.
The faster the better. Now it's 70 wpm. So I am in the habit of typing fast. And therefore, I typically think fast.
Slow down. "Children present"....... Humans present.
Feelings present.......
Should I take something for my throat and chest? That thought just caused my hear rate to excellerate. (There is a little red line underneath "excellerate", but I don't know how else to spell it!) : )
My husband just woke up and obviously, he realizes that the only reason why I would be awake here is due to my "issue".
I told him about my throat. Perhaps I got it from him. Perhaps not, but the GOOD NEWS is that it will eventually PASS!! I JUST now thought of that when I told him that. : ) I wanted him to feel OK about me not feeling that great. : ) And in the process, it helps ME to feel happier! It's going to be OK. (With the letters, "OK" -- I know that I learned to put "O.K.", but OK might be "O.K." to do too. I apologize about leaving off the dots, but that's what I'm going to do for now. I might change my mind and switch, but for now, I'm going to leave it as OK.)
So -- grab hold of that thought! It's going to PASS! It's only temporary. It's temporary. It is not permanent. And I will get through this. : ) Some things are permanent. And when that happens, we'll deal with that too. : / Eeek. Sense of humor. Smile. It'll be OK.
I guess even things that are "permanent" are really still "temporal" -- meaning that all things here on Earth are really temporary. Life is short. It's temporary.
The big picture! Yes! Perspective! THERE YOU ARE!!!!!! It's JUST what I need! : ) Ahhhhhhhhh................ relief!!!!!!!!!!!
Smile. Breathe. Happiness! Yes! I am SO happy that this is temporary. It's ALL temporary! Just like the book "Don't sweat the small stuff..... etc...." Don't sweat the Temporary Stuff -- And it's ALL Temporary!" : )
Death is but a step into another place.
In the Resurrection, we will all be given our limbs and other parts back. We will be made whole.
It's OK. (or O.K.) I really prefer O.K. to OK. : ) It doesn't matter which way you type it. It's OK.
My husband just asked me what my plans are for going to bed. At first, I thought, "I'm going to stay up typing until I feel like I can go to sleep."
But then I told him -- "Hey -- just telling you that I'm going to be O.K., and that this will pass, energized me, and gave me relief, knowing that this WILL pass!"
I told him I'm going to go to bed and see if I can fall asleep. : )
So that's the plan for now. Hopefully I can fall asleep.
Thanks for listening! : ) (I apologize for any type-o's that I couldn't go back and edit right now. I'm sure you understand.) : )
See ya' later!
